Category: Mindfulness

Tiny Wisdom: Choose to Be Here

“Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.”‘ -Eckhart Tolle

There is little in life that is more stressful than thinking you need be somewhere else but feeling powerless to get there.

There’s this dream I used to have over and over again. I’d want to get somewhere, but my body wouldn’t move. I’d start running, but I would essentially be jogging in place, like Wile Coyote when he was pushed off a cliff but he’d continue moving his legs while suspended in mid-air.

No matter how much energy I expelled, I was immobile; but I always kept fighting, sweating, and screaming, hoping something or someone would save me from the pain of my paralysis.

That’s how I lived my life. There was always something I visualized as the end-all-be-all in terms of happiness, and it was always something that evaded me—a relationship, a job, an adventure, and usually underneath it all a feeling I desperately wanted.

It was always something just out of reach until I got it, and my internal supervisor gave me a new assignment to target my aching, endless want. There was no reward to achieving; just a new demand to cower before.

I’ve realized there will always be the possibility of a tomorrow that could be better than today. There’s always going to be a there that sounds like a fantasy—someday when you’ve gotten what you want.

You could easily wrap your whole life around the promise of getting there and tie your emotions to the illusion of getting closer. You could stress out if you don’t think you’re making progress or feel frustrated that you haven’t seen enough results. You could complain to people about feeling stuck and dwell on how much better things would be if only you could get there.

You could do all of that—if you want to choose unhappiness. Because this moment, right now, is life. And where we are is where we have an opportunity to be happy.

We can fight it and feel stressed or let go and feel peace.

That doesn’t mean we can’t strive for things we want. It just means we’ve realized the path to a bright tomorrow starts with a choice to recognize and create light today.

Dig your heels in and take a deep breath. You are here, and this is all that’s guaranteed. What’s good about this moment, and how can you appreciate and enjoy it?

Part of this post is excerpted from my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

Photo by Viewoftheworld

February 28, 2012
Tiny Wisdom: Cling Less, Enjoy More

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

My boyfriend and I spent a couple of days in Las Vegas for Valentine’s Day. These days I get excited about the buffets and shows, but formerly, I found the city a little depressing.

First, I felt sad for the people who seemed a little lost, either for having lost vast quantities of money, or for having lost a part of themselves (something I know all too well).

Secondly, I felt the inevitable crash that follows overstimulation and excess of any kind. (I had a love/hate relationship with both).

But there was more to it than that. When I first went to Vegas years back, I felt like I was standing smack dab in the middle of a lifestyle I couldn’t afford. Amid the sea of tight designer dresses, in my cheap, modest clothes, I feared I looked out of place.

I also found the luxurious ambiance of most casinos stressful. Every time I passed a majestic fountain, or a fancy velvet couch, or a store full of lavish spa items, I thought about how simple my own apartment was. I couldn’t simply enjoy my surroundings because I was too busy wishing I could own it all.

During one trip, though, something occurred to me: the world is full of beauty I can take in, regardless of what I have—but I will never be able to appreciate it if I’m too busy trying to hold onto it.

This isn’t only true of all that glitters. It’s true of all the sights, sounds, and moments we may want to bottle and carry with us forever.

We can’t fully appreciate a picturesque sunset if we’re wishing it would never rain again.

We can’t fully enjoy a moment of true connection if we’re wishing we’d never feel alone again.

We can’t fully savor a relaxing day if we’re wishing we’d never be busy again.

Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.

We do that by choosing to fully experience them instead of wishing they wouldn’t end.

It’s human nature to wonder if we’d be happier with more. Perhaps the key is to work with that instinct and realize we can have more joyful experiences if we’re willing to cling to less.

Photo by {maira.gall}

February 15, 2012
Tiny Wisdom: Keep Your Head Clear

“Keep your head clear. It doesn’t matter how bright the path is if your head is always cloudy.” -Unknown

Some days seem to start with a proverbial rain cloud dripping above our beds.

I had one of those days on Sunday. I didn’t sleep well on Friday or Saturday because I have a medical condition that sometimes wakes me in the middle of the night, so I woke up on Sunday feeling irritable and grouchy.

My boyfriend’s voice sounded like nails down a chalkboard. To be clear, I love him dearly, and I also love the sound of birds chirping. But in that moment, I wished I had a mute button because everything annoyed me.

I argued with him over something silly, and then felt horrible. Both of us work through the weekends, and despite my honest apology, I felt unhappy with myself and resistant to doing anything.

But doing nothing was not an option, so I pushed myself. I started our laundry, opened my computer, and then pulled out my to-do list.

Right then I realized: this is not the energy I ever want to bring to my work. Since I was feeling off-balanced and moody, the only option was to stop. To do nothing. To take a break, take a breath, and give myself space to create a better state of mind.

Sometimes it feels like there’s no time for this. We have responsibilities, people depending on us, things that need to get done. It can be tempting to just plow through, even if we’re not in a great headspace—after all, we don’t want to compromise our productivity.

The irony, though, is that taking 5–10 minutes for a short walk or some grounding breaths can make a profound difference in our efficiency.

We do everything more effectively when we come to it from a place of calmness—which means making time to take care of ourselves can actually be the best thing for our work and our goals.

But more importantly, taking time to clear our heads is a kind thing to do, for ourselves and other people. We live up there all day, every day, and whether we realize it or not, our thinking affects everyone around us.

So today I invite you to join me in prioritizing composure. Take the time you need. You deserve it—and so do your work and your relationships.

Photo by Wonderlane

February 12, 2012
Tiny Wisdom: Be Curious, Be Amazed

“Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.” -Bryant H. McGill

The other day, as I walking to the activities center in my apartment community to write, I saw a team of men cutting down dead tree branches using truck-mounted lifts. They were tossing them into a wood chipper which shred each one in a matter of seconds.

I’m sure this is a common practice, but it was the first time I’d ever seen this, so I decided to sit on the sidewalk and watch, even though I was on a tight schedule.

I felt mesmerized by this mass-pruning, preparing the area surrounding me for new life; and in that moment, my interest trumped my need to get things done.

I used to do this all the time as a kid—see something fascinating and get lost in an audience of one, preparing an array of questions to launch at the next adult I encountered. Every day there was something new to learn, and accordingly, something to get excited about.

We now live in a world where information is far more easily accessible, but amassing knowledge through the web is not the same as opening ourselves up to discovery in the world. One is the intellectual pursuit of facts; the other is the natural consequence of presence and curiosity.

One requires us to be searching; the other only requires us to be open.

It’s all too easy to live our days with a tight grip on our schedules—thrusting ourselves from commitment to commitment and in the process, stifling possibilities for spontaneity and awe.

When we live our lives in the zone of doing, we miss out on the many details we only notice through the act of being.

We miss out on the tiny nuances of our environment changing around us. We miss out on the tiny gestures of kindness from the people we love. And we miss out on opportunities to see the world through the eyes of childlike wonder.

I have found that the most exciting form of learning is the kind that comes from experience. The beauty is that we don’t need to plan for this. We just need to live in the moment and see what we discover.

Photo by quinn.anya

January 25, 2012
Tiny Wisdom: All the Fun You Missed

“Don’t let the past hold you back; you’re missing the good stuff.” -Unknown

There have been times when I’ve regretted that I missed out on so much when I was younger.

Because I held onto pain so tightly, I missed out on countless opportunities for fun while sitting alone and feeling bad for myself.

Because I felt so insecure for so long, I missed out on the chance to make strong friendships while shutting down and assuming people would hurt me.

And because I was afraid of failing, I missed out on all kinds of professional opportunities while doing what felt easy and safe.

Now, in my early 30s, it’s tempting to look back and feel bad for squandering those years when I was so full of potential. Then I remember: I still am.

The other night, I attended a family function with many of the amazing, interesting people who I didn’t fully appreciate when I was caught up in my personal dramas. I planned to leave early because I was somewhat tired, but I ended up dancing until the last song with my big fat Italian family.

I remember looking around at my cousins, ranging in age from 11 to 35, my aunt in her 50s, and friends of all ages in between, and recognizing that we were all the same on the dance floor.

We were all losing ourselves in the music, likely thinking about nothing, simply choosing to be together and move. It was almost as if in that moment, we were ageless. What had come or what was coming didn’t matter right then.

All that mattered was that we all had the same choice to make: sit it out, or dance (yes, like in the song).

That’s the choice we’re faced with every day.

We can focus on the fun things we could have done but didn’t, or we can do something fun right now.

We can dwell on the mistakes we made in past relationships, or we can focus on enjoying the relationships we’re in right now.

We can think about all the opportunities we missed out on, or we can focus on embracing possibilities right now.

There will always be something we didn’t do yesterday, but we get to choose right now how yesterday looks when we get to tomorrow. Right now, whatever age we are, this is our chance to live.

December 19, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: When Instincts Aren’t Enough

“Never ignore a gut feeling, but never believe that it’s enough.” -Robert Heller

A while back, a friend of mine called me crying because of a huge disappointment in her life. She made a bold decision based on gut instinct, and then expected that everything would work out as she envisioned it because she felt so certain it was the right choice.

I think what hurt her most of all was the realization that nothing is certain. Following your instincts to leave something doesn’t guarantee it will be easy to find something else. And knowing that something feels right doesn’t ensure you’ll immediately know the right way to make it happen.

Our instincts point us in the right direction, but we need know before we take that first step that very few paths are clear and direct. The hardest thing isn’t taking the leap—it’s learning to relax in the free fall when you’re not sure yet where you’re going to land or how.

I have been in this place many times before.

I’ve walked out of offices, feeling empowered with my decision to quit—only to later to find myself wondering if I should have followed my father’s advice to “never leave one job without another lined up.”

I’ve walked away from unhealthy relationships feeling proud of my ability to let go—only to find myself obsessing about whether it was a choice to be permanently alone.

And I’ve decided to get help to change bad habits—only to find myself feeling unsure of how I’d function without them.

That instinctive decision to walk away from something, or toward something, or through something—it’s only the very beginning.

But if we’re brave enough to listen to it and take action, we’re also brave enough to handle the uncertainty ahead. If we have the strength to make that choice, we have the strength to keep honoring it when things get tough, as they often do.

Today if you’re walking through unfamiliar territory, wondering if you made the right choice, ask yourself: Would you question your decision if things all worked out right away? If the answer is no, then keep learning, keep growing, and keep going.

You know you want this. Now you just need to be patient enough to let yourself discover how you’ll do it.

Photo by geishaboy500

November 3, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Letting Go of the Stress of Rushing

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” ~Will Rogers

It was like a scene in a movie. I was waiting to cross the street while pedestrians were crossing the perpendicular one. A number of cars were piled up, with drivers waiting to turn when the people made it to the sidewalk.

Several impatient drivers honked, as if they didn’t understand why the first one wasn’t going. So that first guy stuck his head out his window and yelled at the pedestrians, “Come on—hurry up!”

Then one of them yelled back, “I’m &%*#ing pregnant %$*hole. So shut up!” (No swearing here—this is a family friendly place!) She was pregnant—visibly. Meaning that first driver either didn’t actually look at her, or knowingly yelled at a pregnant woman because people behind him were applying pressure.

This got me thinking about an accident I read about many years ago. Several cars were stopped, and a woman behind them couldn’t see why, so she sped into the left lane to pass them—fatally injuring a third grader who was crossing the street.

Both situations boil down to urgency—that need to keep moving, and quickly. This not only fills us with anxiety and compromises our judgment, it also affects everyone us.

It can cause us to be careless in ways that directly impact others, and it creates an environment of tension that creates stress for everyone within it.

It’s when the person serving customers feels the need to run because he can sense people in line are getting impatient (or worse, he’s responding to criticism from them). It’s when you don’t really hear what someone’s saying to you because you’re too busy thinking about what you want to get done—not later, but right now, instead of having to listen.

We might gain five minutes we could otherwise have lost. We might get a sense of accomplishment for finishing one extra item on the to-do list. We might feel a sense of control instead of having to stand still and feel stuck or unproductive.

But we might also lose our peace, our composure, and opportunities to really connect with other people.

Wherever we are, this is life—it’s happening right now. Do we really want to rush through it?

Photo by j / f / photos

November 1, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Focusing in the Middle of Chaos

“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” –Alexander Graham Bell

I’m sitting smack dab in the middle of chaos. There are half-packed boxes, plastic bags full of clothes, and an assortment of decorative items I’ve yet to pack scattered around my living room.

There’s a stack of random items on my kitchen table—toiletries, paint brushes, marbles, things that don’t belong. For some reason I can’t recall, I rested a number of soup cans on the floor in front of two beach chairs that now lean against my kitchen wall.

My moving process has not been organized, which is highly unlike me. Since I’m juggling quite a bit of work right now, I’ve only been able to pack in spurts. This means I’ve needed to surrender to disorder.

Though I’m sure I could have been more methodical, appeasing my Type-A tendencies, I’m actually glad I chose not to. My messy apartment is now a microcosm for life, and I have a chance to find focus within it.

That’s not always an easy thing to do.

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t think straight until you cleaned your house? Or you couldn’t fully listen to what your friend was saying until you completed a few more items on your to-do list? Or you couldn’t relax until you received responses to important emails you sent?

It’s tempting to want to fix and finish everything before being there, for yourself or someone else, but there are certain things that are never solved or done.

If people are living in your house, it will never be totally clean. If you have goals and responsibilities, your to-do list will likely never be completed. And as much as we may like to control what other people do, that’s just not an option.

Life is chaos. It’s messy. We can create order in different systems—I’m a huge proponent of that. Being organized certainly makes things simpler and easier. But sometimes the simplest and easiest way to focus is to accept that things will rarely be simple and easy.

Sometimes the best we can do is focus on just one thing, knowing full well there are lots of other things that will just need to wait.

Photo by ms amutha

October 26, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: If You Knew This Would Be Your Last Day

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy

If you knew this would be your last day, would you waste time worrying about everything you might not finish on your to-do list?

Would you spend today dwelling on that minor disappointment?

Would you hold a grudge about that fight or misunderstanding?

Would you hesitate to tell the people you love just how much you care?

Would you be hard on yourself for your mistakes, imperfections, or struggles?

If you knew this would be your last day, would you make amends, or make a change, or make a point, or make a difference? Would you do something, or say something, that you’ve been waiting to do or say?

Would you look at something you always see with a new sense of appreciation?

Would you listen to people with a stronger focus, taking in every last word?

Would you say yes to what you really want and no to what you don’t?

Would you give yourself every opportunity to enjoy the people and things you love?

Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and then see this day anew. Wipe the slate clean. Take the pressure off. Put a smile on. Today is a new opportunity to be who you want to be and do what you want to do.

Photo by emdot

October 12, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: The Power of Flexibility

“Stay committed in your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins

This is the post that almost wasn’t—and it’s chock full of irony.

This weekend I spoke at the first annual Bonfire Heights retreat.

The founder, Darius, promoted this event as a meeting of “ordinary people doing extraordinary things.” Listening to the stories presenters shared, it occurred to me that “ordinary” was a modest assessment. The lineup included the youngest TED speaker ever—a twelve-year old organic farmer; a teenage paraplegic who started a non-profit foundation called Walk and Roll; and multiple CNN Heroes, to name just a few individuals.

But it wasn’t just their messages that stirred me—it was their humanity. Since this was the first event of its kind, the crowd was relatively small, which allowed for an intimate experience. From community style meals, to S’mores around the bonfire, to impromptu nighttime beach walks, it felt like a family reunion. It felt like love was the only agenda.

Yesterday, I planned to write during several hours at the airport, since I hadn’t yet prepared a post for today. But I found myself instead immersed in a fascinating conversation about psychology with a new friend.

At first I resisted somewhat, since there was all kinds of inspiration percolating in my brain, waiting to be expressed in written words. I also knew I’d likely be exhausted by the time I got home. I have written every week day for more than two years. Not doing it just wasn’t an option.

Until it was.

My boyfriend would attest that Tiny Buddha has been the other man in my life. All my heart and soul are wrapped up in this site, and I generally make it my first priority. But in this moment, I decided being was more important than sharing. And I gave myself permission to take a day off from what I always do.

Of course I woke up at 7:30, fired up to share. But I’m happy to sit here knowing that I do this because I want to; not because I have to.

Sometimes the best way to stay consistent is to release that sense of urgency.

Photo by geishaboy500

September 26, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Stillness in a World that Moves Quickly

“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” -Hermann Hesse

Before I started this site, I had a different blog where I frequently posted uplifting videos. I quickly learned that the average web reader will devote one to two minutes before deciding that a video drags on. It’s a consequence of the rapidly moving digital era: our attention spans have decreased.

And we tend to get desensitized to concepts fairly quickly. Perhaps it’s because very little feels fresh in an information-overloaded online world, where there are millions of inspiring quotes, beautiful images, and poignant videos to enjoy.

When something is sticky–the term internet marketers use describe a page that people look at for longer than average–there’s often a highly strategic, psychologically motivated plan that keeps us enthralled and engaging. There are things that captivate and touch us–and they oftentimes go viral. But they may be videos we watch half-way through before sharing. Or blog posts we briefly scan and then Stumble.

That’s not to say we always hop from content to content with all the focus of an overstimulated goldfish. It’s just that, on the whole, as an audience, we’re hard to captivate. There’s a lot happening around us, online and off, and a lot competing for our attention.

I thought about all this today, after watching a time lapse video I found linked on Twitter. Shot in San Francisco, it shows hundreds of hours of footage in just under 5 minutes. And it’s beautiful. It’s a condensed slice of everything we might miss, when we’re caught up on our heads, or multitasking, or receiving various stimuli with multiple senses simultaneously.

Only two minutes in and I was already tempted to do something else. Then I realized the irony.

Life moves quickly around us. There will always be something else to see and do. There will always be something else that pops up and threatens to scatter our focus. We can task the outside world with being sticky enough to engage us. Or we can choose to find serenity and focus, sitting smack dab in the middle of the chaos.

Life is beauty in motion, but we can only appreciate it one tiny piece at a time, and only if we’re willing to find stillness within.

The City from WTK Photography on Vimeo.

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September 22, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: The Time is Now

“To be alive is to totally and openly participate in the simplicity and elegance of here and now.” -Donald Altman

We can find reasons to smile, if we look for the good in the now.
We can silence the thoughts that cause us pain, if we focus on what’s in front of us now.
We can change the things that aren’t working, if we make different choices now.
We can let go of the past and start from where we are, if we realize we’re free in the now.
We can be the people we want to be. The only time to do it is now.

Photo by Dave_B_

September 20, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Let Yourself Be As You Are

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~Buddha

“My brain has been moving slowly all day.” As I told my boyfriend this, I felt each word roll out of my mouth with all the speed of a hill-climbing turtle. Like everything else I’ve done today, I’ve been speaking at a glacial pace.

I’ve retraced my footsteps over these last few days, double-checking how much I’ve eaten and how well I’ve slept. But despite playing low-energy detective, I’ve found no clear explanation for my overall sense of weariness. Accept it or not, I’m just having one of those days when I need to take it easy. I don’t always do well with these.

When I’m slow on the uptake and I struggle to complete my to-do list, I’m tempted to get frustrated and impatient with myself–to push myself to be more effective and productive instead of cutting myself some slack. But this doesn’t actually make me more productive or effective. It only serves to create a nagging sense of guilt and stress.

Maybe you’ve been there before: You have things to do and expectations to meet, but your body has a different agenda. You can either indulge a sense of urgent panic about the things you’re not doing, or not doing well. Or you can accept yourself as you are in this moment and do what you need to do for your well-being.

We all have responsibilities and goals, and we instinctively want to create and maintain a sense of momentum with them. But in the grand scheme of things, our happiness has less to do with how quickly we progress and more to do with how kind we are to ourselves at each step of the way.

Let yourself be as you are today. Accept what you feel in your body and mind, without feeling the need to fight it, deny it, ignore it, hide it, or push through to the other side. And then take good care of yourself. Sometimes the best way to help yourself is to stop fighting yourself.

Photo by Wonderlane

September 11, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Missing Out Can Be a Good Thing

“The next message you need is always right where you are.” -Ram Dass

Everything seems urgent in an always-on world, where we can access each other at any time. When we’re not engaging through emails, @replies, and Skype messages, we frequently check various online portals to keep up with who’s doing what and what’s trending. Even if we manage to tune everything out, we often end up feeling distracted.

There’s a bustling world of instant updates and constant connection that never sleeps, and it lives on our desks, in our purses, in our pockets.

Who knows what we’ll miss if we disappear into our own space for a while. Researcher Linda Stone refers to this as continuous partial attention—living life with one eye on technology to feel busy, included, recognized, and important.

While these all sound like positive things, the compulsion to receive them can leave us feeling unfulfilled and even powerless.

Until recently, I refused to buy a cell phone with Internet access for this very reason. Despite maintaining a consistent mindfulness practice, I sometimes struggle with the urge to answer one more email, respond to one more blog comment, or monitor the different places where Tiny Buddha has a presence.

It’s tempting to be always-on, but that means we’re never here. The only way to be available for what’s in front of us is to be less available for everything else.

This means we really hear what our friends are saying in front of us instead of checking to see what other friends are tweeting. It means that we stop watching our email accounts like pots that won’t boil and really taste the tea we may otherwise multitask. It means we stop feeling like the narrators of our lives—sharing everything the moment it happens—and instead feel fully alive in our experiences.

The web is a sticky place, and we can easily get lose here if we’re determined to stay informed and connected. There’s nothing wrong with using technology–it certainly enhances our lives. We just need to know when to disconnect from the stream so that we don’t disconnect from ourselves.

Photo by laineybugger

September 7, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: Open Your Eyes and See

“If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

This weekend, I devoted an extensive amount of time to writing something I’ve been struggling to complete. I wrote and rewrote so many times that it felt like more like destruction than creation, but I’ve come to realize that chaos is often the path to clarity.

There were times when I knew it could be beneficial to do something else, clear my head, and come back to it with fresh eyes, but a part of me felt this drive to push through and finish.

While eating dinner with my brother last night, I recognized I wasn’t really listening to anything he was saying. I was still thinking about my unfinished project, and somewhat sucking the joy out of it with my perfectionism. But I knew I’d be leaving Massachusetts soon, so I was wasting precious time.

Then everything went dark. The power went out on our entire street, and it stayed that way for more than two hours. Suddenly it was futile to think about writing because I simply couldn’t. All I could do was see my brother by candlelight and be there, in empty space with him. Sitting in the darkness, playing 20 questions and surrendering to the now, I felt free.

If you’re anything like me, you probably have good intentions of being present–and there are times when you are. But other times, you struggle with your mind and a nagging need for control. Mindfulness is not an easy proposition. Unwanted thoughts can easily sneak in and snowball before you realize the grip they have on you.

Sometimes we need to create our own blackouts–to imagine how we’d experience the moment if we literally couldn’t do anything about the problems we haven’t solved yet, or the memories we haven’t released yet, or the battles we haven’t prepared for yet.

Most of the time, we can’t. We just don’t want to accept it.

Any isolated moment can seem so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but we don’t get to know when the moments will run out. Every moment is precious time. Open your eyes and see.

Photo by zeze57 the Tourist

September 5, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: The Principles of Fun

“If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” -Bob Basso

Yesterday as I was searching for fun videos to lift my spirits, I found “The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun.” It’s from 2010 and a little long, at just under 9 minutes long, but it’s chock-full of great reminders and bright colors.

Enjoy. =)

August 4, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On the Illusion of Tomorrow

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” -Gandhi

If only tomorrow were here.

You’d have that promotion you feel you’ve earned. Your bank account would have an extra zero or two. You’d be finished with the improvements on your house, and ready for new ones to make it even more comfortable.

Your kids would be in that school you can’t yet afford. Closer to graduation. Closer to adulthood. Closer to leaving your home.

You could plan that vacation you’ve wanted to take. And take it. And come back. And want for another.

If only tomorrow were here.

You’d be one day too late to enjoy today’s sunset.

Twenty-four hours too late to savor today’s lunch, today’s cool breeze, today’s little lessons.

One night too late to tell someone you love them—someone who could move, or change, or even fade away.

Smack dab in the middle of another today, when everything is still imperfect. And yet still so beautiful.

Tomorrow will come, and tomorrow will go. Take a deep breath and enjoy right now. This is what is real.

*This is an updated version of a post from September, 2009. Photo by lostintheredwoods.

June 28, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On Freeing Your Mind

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery

In his book Wisdom 2.0, Soren Gordhamer explores a concept he calls cup mind.

The mind, he explains, can be like a cup or the ocean. When you place a drop of blue dye in a cup, the entire contents may change color, whereas when you place that same drop in the ocean, it barely has an impact.

Our thoughts and feelings can affect our minds similarly. They can completely consume us and alter our entire experience of a given day; or, if we create enough mental space, they can be a part of our experience that we can notice, sit with, and then release.

We can allow anger from the morning to snowball in the afternoon and evening, or we can recognize it, feel it, then let it go. We can obsess over everything we think we did wrong or want to do differently, or we can recognize the stress and worry, move beyond them, and then decide to see things from a different angle.

Today if your mind gets overwhelming, ask yourself: What can I do to create some space? Then do it: Take a walk, practice deep breathing, or simply sit in stillness.

We are always going to think and feel. There is no escape from the mind. Whether or not it’s a prison is entirely up to us.

Photo by Wendy Piersall

March 7, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On Perfect Plans

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.” -Proverb

Tomorrow always seems like a safe bet for action. Then you’ll be ready to get started, or get serious, or get over it, or get on with it. Tomorrow you’ll finally set your plan in motion instead of shaping it into something just right. You’ll take the offer, the plunge, or the road less taken tomorrow, when you feel sure.

Tomorrow can become a moving target while todays pile up and expire.

Sometimes we need to be patient, but oftentimes we use it as an excuse to wait for something that will likely never come. Today is our chance to act. We might not always know precisely what to do, but we can trust that we’ll figure out as we go if only we get started.

Of course that comes down to whether or not we’re willing to trust in our abilities. What do you need to start today, and if you don’t trust in yourself, what can you do to change that?

Green Buddha image via Shutterstock

January 5, 2011
Tiny Wisdom: On Wasted Time

“Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.” ~Rodin

John Lennon said time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted. The same can be said for time you didn’t enjoy if you decide to find value in the experience of the moment.

It’s easy to do this retroactively—to look back and ascertain that a frustrating moment taught you patience, or a disappointing moment taught you humility. It’s a lot more difficult to ground yourself within a less than ideal moment and decide then to use it wisely; not to remember it wisely later, but actually do something with it right then.

One thing I like to do when I’m immersed within an experience that feels like a waste of time is ask myself: How can I make this valuable?

It might mean practicing mindfulness when I’m somewhere I’d rather not be, breathing deeply when I feel impatient, or learning something from a mistake that I can use to improve in the future.

If our thoughts shape our world, then we can decide every moment is valuable and then make it so.

Today if you come up against time that feels wasteful, ask yourself: How can I use this moment wisely?

Photo by EPi.Longo

December 15, 2010