Tiny Buddha

Category: Attitude

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Suffering

    Tiny Wisdom: On Suffering

    “It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” -Pema Chodron

    We all have stories we tell ourselves about the events in our lives. Many of them are negative: My boyfriend left me because I’m not good enough. I didn’t get that job because people think I’m incompetent. My parents were too hard on me because they don’t really love me.

    We often give far more meaning to events than they actually had, allowing them to control us and our actions.

    Your stories can either leave you feeling helpless or empowered.

    Martin Seligman, who coined the term “positive psychology” suggests that we can learn optimism and change those stories using the ABC model. When an adversity (A) happens, we can identify beliefs (B) and the undesirable consequences (C) they create.

    So if your boyfriend left you and you believe it’s because you’re not good enough, that will likely leave you feeling down on yourself, and as a consequence, shut down to joy and people.

    The alternative is to dispute that story to create a sense of possibility. Instead of believing that you’re not good enough, you can think, “This one relationship didn’t work out, and I can learn from this, but lots of people love me, just as I am, and many more will in the future if I keep putting myself out there.”

    This story won’t completely take away the pain, but it will remind you that it’s temporary–and that you are not helpless.

    We never are unless we choose to be.

    Photo by kelp1966

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Being Able

    Tiny Wisdom: On Being Able

    “He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” –Proverb

    We all go through phases when we feel hopeless. When everything gets overwhelming. Your bills, your responsibilities, your relationships, the dreams you put on hold—sometimes it all seems like too much.

    In those moments the last thing you want to hear is that you’re lucky you can still walk or use all your senses. Those are things we all take for granted. Things that just are.

    Except none of them are a given. The legs that allow you to practice yoga may one day be strained, sprained, broken, or even paralyzed. The hands and wrists that allow you to write may one day have carpel tunnel. The body that never seems strong or lean enough may one day be incapacitated in ways you can’t even fathom.

    If you have your health, you have the freedom to change a lot of the things that dissatisfy you in life. You just have to take responsibility for doing it.

    If you have the physical and mental capacity, odds are your biggest restrictions are your own limiting thoughts about what’s possible for you.

    Hope is the belief that tomorrow could be better. Wisdom is realizing you have to make it better yourself. How can you use your capabilities to create new possibilities for today and tomorrow?

    Photo by Alice Popkorn

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Being Vulnerable

    Tiny Wisdom: On Being Vulnerable

    “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.” ~Brené Brown

    To be vulnerable is to be free.

    It gives you a break from trying to pretend you’re always right and you don’t have any flaws. It gives you permission to show your authentic self and stop taking responsibility for the way other people perceive you. It allows you to try new things and take the risk of feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

    It also opens you up to the possibility of pain. We never know when we let our guard down that other people won’t hurt us, unintentionally or otherwise.

    We can know, however, that the pain of closing ourselves off to people and possibilities is far more dangerous than the potential risks of opening up. We’re just not meant to be isolated. We need to really connect with each other.

    Today, if you feel tempted to shut down and retreat into yourself, ask yourself : What’s the best thing that could happen today if I decided instead to move outside this place that feels safe?

    Photo by Thomas Euler

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Runaway Thoughts

    Tiny Wisdom: On Runaway Thoughts

    “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” ~Buddha

    For the vast majority of my life, I took pride in being a fighter–which meant I was always ready for an attack so no one else could hurt me. The irony is that because of this mindset, I frequently hurt myself.

    I was too busy guarding myself against other people’s negative intentions to create positive intentions of my own. I was too preoccupied judging and doubting people to connect with them on a meaningful level.

    The people and things I fought weren’t the problem; my thoughts and assumptions were.

    I find this is true for a lot of people: The things we’re afraid of are nowhere near as damaging as the way we suffocate ourselves in those fears.

    Today, if you find your thoughts taking on a life of their own, pulling you into a dark place that has nothing to do with what’ actually going on in front of you, take a breath and let them go.

    Make a conscious decision to see everything anew instead of tainting your perceptions with worst case scenarios.

    The best things in life can only happen if we’re fully open to experiencing and receiving them.

    Photo by HaPe_Gera

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What’s Past

    Tiny Wisdom: On What’s Past

    “Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

    Everyone has something they might do differently if they could back in time. It’s a natural consequence of learning and growing.

    The happiest people focus not on what they should have done if only they knew then, but instead on what they can do right now with the knowledge they have gained. No matter how helpless you may feel, you can do more than you think.

    Today you will make hundreds of mini-decisions that will create what will be. You’ll have people to meet, challenges to take, and opportunities to seize. You can only seize those moments with a sense of joy and possibility if you forgive yourself for the choices that have past.

    photo by natashalatrasha

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    “Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” -Eckhart Tolle

    Things might not happen for a reason, but we can always find a reason to move on enriched.

    We can let disappointments devastate us, or we can move on in humility, finding opportunities within the hardship.

    We can let frustrations consume us, or we can foster a sense of peace and balance, choosing not to live in a constant state or reaction to our circumstances.

    We can let dissatisfaction gnaw away at our spirits, assuming it’s too late to create life as we want to experience it, or we can live powerfully in the now, choosing every day to do something that makes us feel fulfilled.

    These are the options we’re given in life—to drown in our sorrow about what we can’t control, or soar in the possibilities of everything we can.

    What do you choose today?

    Photo by zackzen

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

    Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

    “We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” -Sogyal Rinpoche

    Nothing is as discouraging as feeling you don’t have a choice—that you’re trapped in a situation you can’t change, with a person who won’t change, or with feelings about yourself that you’ve stopped believing you can change.

    We’ve all been there before.

    We’ve accepted thankless jobs just to make ends meet. We’ve hurt or watched friends hurting, feeling powerless to end the pain. We’ve waited for love, or mourned unrequited love, or wondered if it was really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

    We’ve all felt helpless before, and we’ll all be there at some point again—yet we have far more power than we think.

    We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can shape them with our actions. We can’t always save the people around us, but we can support them with our love and attention. We can’t always create a world that feels safe, but we can choose how to experience it with our thoughts.

    Every day we have limitless choices, thousands of mini-opportunities to live a peaceful, empowered life.

    What choices will you make today?

    photo by jaitra.gillespie

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Starting Anew

    Tiny Wisdom: On Starting Anew

    New Day

    “No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” ~Buddha

    One of the greatest misconceptions in life is that we are somehow powerless to let go of what’s behind us. That we have to carry regret, shame, or disappointment, and that is has to dictate how today will unfold, at least on some level.

    It doesn’t. At any moment, you can let go of who you’ve been and decide to be someone new—to do something differently. It won’t always be easy, but it is always a choice you can make.

    You can either dwell and stay stuck, or let go and feel free. Give yourself space to fill with good feelings about the beautiful day in front of you—and the beautiful tomorrow you’re now creating.

    Photo here