Tiny Buddha

Author: Lori Deschene

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What’s Past

    Tiny Wisdom: On What’s Past

    “Stay away from what might have been and look at what will be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

    Everyone has something they might do differently if they could back in time. It’s a natural consequence of learning and growing.

    The happiest people focus not on what they should have done if only they knew then, but instead on what they can do right now with the knowledge they have gained. No matter how helpless you may feel, you can do more than you think.

    Today you will make hundreds of mini-decisions that will create what will be. You’ll have people to meet, challenges to take, and opportunities to seize. You can only seize those moments with a sense of joy and possibility if you forgive yourself for the choices that have past.

    photo by natashalatrasha

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Planning

    Tiny Wisdom: On Planning

    “Life is what happens while you are making other plans.” -John Lennon

    Take a deep breath, feel your feet on the ground, exhale, look around, repeat. What would you do with your life if you knew today was part of it, not a means to it?

    photo by mindfulness

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Building

    Tiny Wisdom: On Building

    “Almost everything comes from nothing.” -Henri F. Amiel

    No matter where you are now in the pursuit of your dreams, know that people who’ve done what you’d like to do started right where you stand.

    You have limitless power to create the future you visualize if you’re willing to dream, plan, and work.

    Don’t worry about what you don’t know. You’ll learn. Don’t stress about how much you’ll have to do. You can only do it one thing at a time.

    Just start where you are, take the first step, and then watch your nothing evolve.

    Photo by Josep Ma. Rosell

  • Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

    Do, Adjust, Do: A Journey to Meaningful, Satisfying Work

    “If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

    I couldn’t drive, drink, vote, or stay out after nine, and yet I had two jobs.

    I started working just before I turned twelve. My parents didn’t have a lot of money, so I knew early on I’d need to work if I wanted to do fun things, like go to music camp.

    After school, I went to a program for kids where I led them in creative activities, like singing and arts and crafts. On the weekends, I ran the dozen counter at my family friends’ bagel shop.

    I haven’t stopped working since I was twelve, and at times I’ve held more than three jobs at once. To some extent, it’s because I’m resourceful and ambitious.

    But it’s partly because I’m one of those people who refuses to spend forty hours a week doing something I don’t love. So I end up spending sixty hours doing a combination of things, some I adore and some that allow me to do those other projects.

    I have a lot of friends who work jobs they loathe, some in corporate environments, some in retail, and others at start-up companies. Though the atmosphere and job descriptions vary, they all involve eight-plus hours a day, work that doesn’t satisfy them, and steady paychecks that justify it.

    When I chose to study writing and acting in college, I assumed it would all work out when I graduated—that I’d instantly make the right connections and fall into the perfect life.

    Once I was in the real world, my confidence started to falter. I felt overwhelmed when I realized I’d have to struggle, and I began talking myself out of my dreams. (more…)

  • A Year of Tiny Buddha and a New Design!

    A Year of Tiny Buddha and a New Design!

    Happy day! As you can see, tinybuddha.com has a new design.

    Earlier this week, I mentioned I was excited to launch this new site in conjunction with the one-year anniversary.

    In that somewhat long post, I announced three book giveaways I planned to conduct in celebration, outlined the milestones from Tiny Buddha’s journey thus far, and listed the most popular posts in multiple categories, including:

    • Happiness
    • Fun
    • Relationships
    • Mindfulness
    • Passion and Purpose
    • Being Good to Yourself
    • Change
    • The Beauty of Life
    • Peace of Mind

    If you haven’t already, you can read that post here.

    If you have already seen it, you’re ready to learn about the new features and developments on tinybuddha.com.

    1. New Logo

    Joshua Denney, who has done all of Tiny Buddha’s design work, and Rose Hwang created the fun new logo. It works well in so many different colors!

    2. Mindful Reading Icon

    At the end of every post, you will notice a small silhouette of a Buddha holding a book. This is what I’m calling the “Mindful Reading” icon. This symbol is meant to be a visual cue to remind you to “read what you need.”

    It’s all too easy to get lost in the web. You visit a blog to find one piece of information and before you know it, you’ve hopped to six other posts and forgotten what you came to accomplish. At least, that’s been my experience.

    Reading multiple posts isn’t always a bad thing, but I think it’s important to be mindful of our reading habits so we don’t end up learning more often than we apply.

    The symbol is right underneath the share buttons–get mindful after you share. =)

    3. Fewer Blog Categories

    Prior to the re-design, the site had over twenty blog categories. Those have now been narrowed down to eight, including:

    • Happiness/Positivity
    • Living Out Loud
    • Love and Relationships
    • Yoga/Meditation
    • Mindfulness
    • Healthy Habits
    • Mindfulness in Work

    If you’d like to share a post for one of these categories, check out the submission guidelines here.

    4. Sponsorship Opportunities

    You’ll notice there are several spots on the new site where you can feature your brand, including the right-hand side bar and within the blog and quote feeds. If you’re interested in sponsoring Tiny Buddha, contact me at email @ tinybuddha.com for additional details and rates.

    This will allow us to connect with relevant brands while supporting the site’s future growth.

    And here we are! I hope you enjoy the new layout.

    Many thanks to Joshua Denney of Think Web Strategy for his efforts in creating the site’s new look. He has been working diligently behind the scenes for months, and I am forever grateful for all his time, passion, and attention. I also look forward to working with him on some upcoming projects, to be announced soon.

    Thanks to Michael from Pliable Press who built a WordPress theme that is clean, easy to use, and perfect for Tiny Buddha.

    And lastly, thanks again to everyone who has made Tiny Buddha a part of their lives. I am forever grateful that you choose to be a part of this community. Thank you for being you and for being here.

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    Tiny Wisdom: On Hard Times

    “Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” -Eckhart Tolle

    Things might not happen for a reason, but we can always find a reason to move on enriched.

    We can let disappointments devastate us, or we can move on in humility, finding opportunities within the hardship.

    We can let frustrations consume us, or we can foster a sense of peace and balance, choosing not to live in a constant state or reaction to our circumstances.

    We can let dissatisfaction gnaw away at our spirits, assuming it’s too late to create life as we want to experience it, or we can live powerfully in the now, choosing every day to do something that makes us feel fulfilled.

    These are the options we’re given in life—to drown in our sorrow about what we can’t control, or soar in the possibilities of everything we can.

    What do you choose today?

    Photo by zackzen

  • Book Review & Giveaway: Hand Wash Cold

    Book Review & Giveaway: Hand Wash Cold

    Update: The winners have already been chosen for this giveaway. They are:

    • KimCanDoIt
    • Shonda Scarborough
    • The Sunrise Project
    • Emily Meerstra

    When I first saw the title of Karen Maezen Miller’s book, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, I wondered how many people might feel hesitant to define their lives that way.

    Most of us don’t want to be ordinary. We want to be special. We want to live bold, extraordinary lives punctuated by moments of passion, excitement, and adventure.

    We want to fill our days with people, things, and activities that make us feel vibrant, and outsource the rest to someone else, someone paid to handle the mundane.

    We want to take all the uncertainty that life entails—all the potential for loss and sadness and the truth of our mortality—and offset it with undeniable achievement.

    We want to discover something, uncover something, build something, invent something, found something, prove something—be something. We want to be extraordinary. We want to be great, or at least moving in that direction.

    We want our lives to matter. (more…)

  • Approaching the Site’s 1-Year Anniversary (Giveaways!)

    Approaching the Site’s 1-Year Anniversary (Giveaways!)

    Buddha

    It’s a pretty exciting week in Tiny Buddha world. Several months back, I decided to have Tiny Buddha redesigned.

    Well, we decided.  There is an amazing man named Joshua Denney who has done a lot of work on the site.

    It’s through his passion, expertise, and hard work that we’ll have a completely new design at the end of this week.

    One of the reasons I’m excited to launch the new site this week is that Thursday is the site’s one-year anniversary.

    With that in mind, I’ve decided to do a few things:

    1. Conduct a series of book giveaways leading up to the anniversary/redesign.

    2. Highlight some of the milestones from the first year’s journey.

    3. Share some of the most popular posts from the year past. (more…)

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Yesterday

    Tiny Wisdom: On Yesterday

    “Letting go of the past means that you can you enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

    If you’re lost in your head, rehashing or obsessing, you miss all the little things that make life feel full and satisfying.

    You don’t notice the small gestures that show people love you; they seem like everyday courtesies that don’t warrant consideration. You don’t acknowledge the trees and flowers that make your space beautiful; they fade into your peripheral vision like part of the furniture.

    The little things are the big things. Happiness is paying attention. Give yourself permission to let go of everything that stands in the way of life’s tiny beauties. Dwelling on the past won’t change what’s already happened. Worrying about the future won’t make it any less unpredictable.

    Let yourself enjoy today. It’s the tomorrow you dreamed about yesterday.

    Photo by gtall1

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Risks

    Tiny Wisdom: On Risks

    “It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.” ~Seneca

    Taking the path of least resistance actually requires a lot of resistance. It’s human nature to want to soar! To venture out, explore the world, expand ourselves and our minds and live with passion, enthusiasm, and abandon.

    You might be doing that already, whatever that means to you. Or you may be containing yourself into a safe, predictable box, assuming everything outside it is far beyond your reach.

    It’s not—it’s not nearly as far away as you think.

    We’d be kidding ourselves if we pretended the world is without obstacles; but we’d be cheating ourselves if we didn’t acknowledge a lot of them are in our heads.

    Today, dare beyond your self-imposed limitations. It’s a lot easier to venture out of your comfort zone when you decide to stop fighting yourself.

    Photo by Wonderlane

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Appreciation

    Tiny Wisdom: On Appreciation

    “Appreciation is an excellent thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us, as well.” -Voltaire

    There’s work to do. And things to accomplish. And places to get to. And people to please.

    There’s futures to create. And pasts to forget. And an endless string of days full of hours to be filled. We often spend then running, fantasizing, or waiting, hoping it eventually turns into something good enough. Something worth valuing, something worth appreciating, something worth enjoying.

    If we’re not deliberate, we can easily live life hopping from distraction to distraction, biding our time for something better. The truth is, there is nothing better. This is life, in all it’s beauty and possibility—in the present moment. Life never happens in any other time.

    Today, choose to marvel, bask, and celebrate the beautiful things and people around you. There will always be something in your life you’d rather avoid or escape. The place you’re trying to get to, though, lives and breathes right here, right now.

    photo by jaitra.gillespie

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

    Tiny Wisdom: On Understanding

    “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boese

    Sometimes resentment and anger may seem involuntary, like reactions you have to indulge for a length of time proportionate to how badly you were wronged. It might even feel like your anger is a justified retaliation, and you’d be weak if you let it go.

    The irony is that after we’ve been hurt, we choose to continue hurting ourselves. Bitterness never feels good, no matter where it’s rooted.

    Psychologists suggest that when other people make mistakes, we tend to assign them character flaws (i.e.: he’s selfish, or she doesn’t care who she hurts) whereas when we make mistakes, we more frequently cite external causes (i.e.: I’ve been overworked, or I haven’t been getting enough sleep.)

    It’s almost as though we’re willing to let ourselves off the hook because we have to live with ourselves, but when it comes to other people we’re quick to condemn and slow to forget.

    You might not be able to forget what happened yesterday, but you can choose not to let it suffocate today. We all have character flaws and we’re all affected by external causes. Today if you have a hard time forgiving, ask yourself this question: do you want to feel bitter or better?

    photo by gautsch.

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

    Tiny Wisdom: On Choices

    “We must never forget that it is through our actions, words, and thoughts that we have a choice.” -Sogyal Rinpoche

    Nothing is as discouraging as feeling you don’t have a choice—that you’re trapped in a situation you can’t change, with a person who won’t change, or with feelings about yourself that you’ve stopped believing you can change.

    We’ve all been there before.

    We’ve accepted thankless jobs just to make ends meet. We’ve hurt or watched friends hurting, feeling powerless to end the pain. We’ve waited for love, or mourned unrequited love, or wondered if it was really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

    We’ve all felt helpless before, and we’ll all be there at some point again—yet we have far more power than we think.

    We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can shape them with our actions. We can’t always save the people around us, but we can support them with our love and attention. We can’t always create a world that feels safe, but we can choose how to experience it with our thoughts.

    Every day we have limitless choices, thousands of mini-opportunities to live a peaceful, empowered life.

    What choices will you make today?

    photo by jaitra.gillespie

  • 7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

    7 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty So You Can Be Happier and Less Anxious

    “Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” ~John Allen Paulos

    In three weeks, my boyfriend and I might move from the Bay area to LA, or we might move in here with roommates if he decides not pursue a film career.

    I am starting a new work-from-home writing gig to pay my bills while I write my book. It might be something I can do in under two days a week, or it may require more time. It may provide enough money, or I might need to get some other work to supplement.

    If we move, I might enjoy LA; I might not. I might balance everything well; I might feel overwhelmed. I might make new friends easily in my new area; it might take me a while to find like-minded people.

    My world is a towering stack of mights right now. Though I’m dealing with a lot more change than usual, the reality is that most days start and end with uncertainty.

    Even when you think you’ve curled into a cozy cocoon of predictability, anything could change in a heartbeat. (more…)

  • 4 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Running Tiny Buddha

    4 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned from Running Tiny Buddha

    “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.” ~Rumi

    I have been working on Tiny Buddha for over two years, and yet I’ve rarely written about my experiences running it.

    I haven’t told you anything about my own challenges, opportunities, and lessons in maintaining the site, and it occurred to me today that that might be valuable information.

    You probably have a Tiny Buddha in your own life—something you created that you’re absolutely in love with. Or maybe you haven’t found it yet, but you want to build something that drives you like nothing else.

    Tiny Buddha has been that for me, and I’d like to share with you a few of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way: (more…)

  • Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

    Tiny Wisdom: On What Matters

    “What matters is the value we’ve created in our lives, the people we’ve made happy and how much we’ve grown as people.” ~Daisaku Ikeda

    We spend so much of our lives looking for meaning—a sense that it all makes sense or will in the end—that we sometimes drive ourselves crazy trying to make the moment good enough. To do the right work, have the right relationships, make the right decisions, make the right impact so hopefully our lives will matter. We’ll matter.

    All that struggling, striving, and racing toward something better can make the moment feel like something to escape instead of something to celebrate.

    This moment is all we’re guaranteed. Don’t fill it worrying about being better or doing more in the world. Even if you spend today creating a tomorrow you visualize, go through it knowing you create a lot of value and happiness, just as you are. You might be amazed by how much you can accomplish when you’re satisfied with the present, exactly as it is.

    Photo by xiffy

  • 25 Questions to Help Solve Problems That Seem Insurmountable

    25 Questions to Help Solve Problems That Seem Insurmountable

    Frustrated

    “No problem is insurmountable. With a little courage, teamwork, and determination, a person can do anything.” ~Unknown

    Some problems seem far too overwhelming to solve. When you’re buried in debt or trying to bounce back from a huge error in judgment, it can feel like there’s no way out.

    I remember when I first learned about my fibroids last year. Since I didn’t have health insurance at the time, I feared I wouldn’t be able to afford treatment, and I was tempted to beat myself up for allowing myself to be uninsured.

    On top of that, I worried about my health. I wondered: Why did I develop those growths in the first place? What if they grew uncomfortably large before I was able to remove them? And what if I had other undiagnosed conditions?

    Overpowered as I was with fears and regrets, it felt nearly impossible to identify a solution. But there was one—and it was far simpler than I realized at first.

    As soon as I focused and stopped getting caught up in “should haves” and “what ifs,” I started researching insurance plans and found one for people with pre-existing conditions.

    Of course, that was only the first step. I needed to find a good doctor, pick the best treatment, and find the money to pay for my part of the surgery. But it was all doable.

    It may have taken several months, but eventually, I made my way to the other side of that challenge.

    Now, three months post-surgery, I’m healthier and more energized. And though I know my fibroids can grow back at any time, regardless of what I do, I’m prepared to handle that if and when it happens.

    I know that if the problem comes back, I can overcome it.

    When we’re knee-deep in the messiness of an obstacle, it can feel like there’s no way around it. There isn’t—if we aren’t open to discovering it. We can only create and follow a plan if we believe it’s possible.

    If your current challenge seems insurmountable, it might help you to step back and try to see things differently.

    These questions may help you change your thinking about this problem and discover the action steps to solve it. (more…)

  • Mindfulness in Everyday Tasks: How to Get the Most from Your Chores

    Mindfulness in Everyday Tasks: How to Get the Most from Your Chores

    “Smile, breathe and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

    Last night I did something I rarely do. Drum roll please…

    …last night I cooked.

    Okay, to be fair, I more prepped than cooked. But my willingness to participate in this domestic ritual, with my boyfriend at the helm, was certainly not the norm. Neurotic as I may be with organizing and cleaning, cooking has never been my thing.

    For starters, I’m cheap with food. I’d rather spend money on books and pedicures than saffron and truffles. I realize I could channel my inner Rachael Ray and learn to make budget-friendly meals, but an even easier approach is to make full use of my Subway rewards card.

    It’s not just my aversion to spending on consumables that attracts me to cheap take-out and cereal. It’s also a matter of priorities.

    I look at the day as blocks of time—much like Hugh Grant in About a Boy. Left to my own devices, I fill those blocks with tried-and-tested activities, like writing, reading, watching movies, and practicing yoga. Suffice it to say, cooking isn’t on my list.

    I know I enjoy my world better when I make little changes to my routine—when I take alternative routes to familiar places or make spontaneous plans with old friends, for example. But sometimes I need reminders to do things differently.

    Tonight’s reminder brought me to the cutting board, and I must admit I enjoyed it far more than I would have imagined. (more…)

  • Tiny Wisdom: On Love

    Tiny Wisdom: On Love

    “Love is loving things that sometimes you don’t like.” ~Ajahn Brahm

    The most challenging part of relationships is learning to accept people for who they are—knowing all their quirks, insecurities, and weaknesses and choosing to simply let them be.

    Psychologists suggest that once we form an idea, we develop an emotional attachment that makes it extremely difficult to abandon it. We feel convinced that our way is the right way and feel an imperative to sway other people accordingly, particularly people who are close to us.

    The irony is that this tends to push people further away. It’s hard to feel loved when you feel judged.

    Today, resist the urge to “fix” people around you (unless, of course, someone is legitimately unsafe).

    If there’s one thing we all want, it’s to feel fully accepted, inadequacies and all. We want permission to stop judging ourselves and just be. Put that kind of love out there and you may be surprised to notice it coming back to you.

    Photo here

  • How to Have More Fun in Life: Keep Your Thoughts from Pulling You Down

    How to Have More Fun in Life: Keep Your Thoughts from Pulling You Down

    “If it’s not fun, you’re not doing it right.” ~Bob Basso

    A couple weeks back, my boyfriend and I went to our local county fair. I love—love—fairs.

    Forget for a minute that adult-me now gets vertigo just looking at a roller coaster; and that my thirty-year-old digestive track nearly explodes when I catch a whiff of carnie food. When you factor in my increasing interest in crafts and farm animals, it somewhat evens out.

    If you’re the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, thrill-seeker type, that might sound as exciting as watching paint dry. But I really do love petting furry little creatures and thinking about things I can make.

    Standing in the petting zoo, surrounded by llamas, sheep, goats, and even a wallaby, I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I hopped around to spend equal time with everyone; didn’t want the donkey to feel slighted. I played, I frolicked, I may even have skipped a little.

    Truthfully, I would have been equally psyched just to sit back and be a farm voyeur. Just watching the animals scamper and seeing kids’ faces light up as they fed them, I felt happy and peaceful. I didn’t even mind when the goat bit my pant leg. He could have gnawed a hole into my favorite Seven jeans and I still would have found it charming.

    Sunny little giggles, that rustic barn smell, the feeling of disconnection from chaotic urban life—everything about that moment appealed to me. I was having fun. (more…)