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Felix

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)
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  • #351286

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Dharmaseed,

    I’m living in south east asia, and the average height here is not that tall. For boys it’s 5’7 and i’m still below it. I’m really really trying to accept myself here, but i dont think i can. It’s just that i cant accept the fact that i’m the shortest among my group of friends. Most people here always describe me as “short”, like in indirect way. Like when one of my best friend, he’s studying abroad and tell them about his best friend which is me, when his friend’s ask how do i look like.. he describe me as “the short funny guy”. I can’t accept the fact that i’m always labeled as the short one, even when they are not mocking me… but i’m always being describe as short. If at least i’m 5’6 im not that far from average, but i’m 2 inches above it and its too far already. Average girl’s height here is my height which is 5’5.

    I dont know if im being ungrateful or what, it’s just that i still can’t accept that there is something which is “height” that i’ll always gonna be the last among my friends, and i can’t change it ever in my life. Like i feel i wanna escape reality that i can’t accept that im the shortest boy. Even some of my friend’s who used to be the same height as me when we were 18 now he is 5’6, and i still dont know why i dont grow even an inch since 17. Even most of my friend’s who all are taller than me, their parents are shorter than them and they still grow, whereas my dad is 5’6 and i’m shorter than me, i dont understand why this is happening to me. I even feel that i can’t forgive god for this unfairness, as i didnt ask to be this hard headed for not wanting to be the “last” among my friends, i have this personality since i was a kid. Like i didnt ask for that kind of personality, and still i got 5’5.

    This is what’s in my thought right now….

    #351280

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Alice,

    Yes of course i wanna be taller, i’m willing to pay money if i can… but it’s impossible. I be at least 5’6 because majority of my friends are around that height and 5’7. I’m like the shortest among my group of friends…. even outside that group of friends, the boys will be taller than me. I’ve been feeling this way since im 17 and im 21 now, and i haven’t grown an inch, whereas some of my friends who used to be 5’5 (same height as me) grow a few inches and they are taller than me now. I just feel that it’s unfair to me from god, as i still can’t accept that there is something which is “height” that i’ll always gonna be the last among my friends, and i can’t change it ever in my life. Like i feel i wanna escape reality that i can’t accept that im the shortest boy.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Felix.
    #350700

    Felix
    Participant

    1. Yes i’m trying to stop thinking about it. But i dont think i could as i’m hard headed

    2. I tried to stop thinking about my height, i distract myself by watching dramas and cartoons. Then when i watch movies, e.g. i’m attracted to a korean actress.. then i googled her as im curious about her. Then i saw her height, in which she’s a bit taller than me, then i start thinking about height again… feeling that why i’m not taller than her… and i also start comparing her with my friends, in which most of my friends are taller than her. I keep thinking about this, and eventually the distraction fails. Even when i watch cartoons, and i’m searching about the characters.. it states their height, and i’m pissed by it.

    3. Yes i feel that i’m in the position of that i cant achieve something that i want in my life, because since i was a kid i’m a person who always wanted to achieve something that i want, but for this “height” i cant. I keep thinking that till i’m old i will never able to achieve this one thing i wanted.

    4. If i think about my height suddenly, i’ll try to not think about it…. like i keep telling myself not to think about it.. and i’ll start doing something like watching/activities.. but sometimes it’ll lead to something that makes me think about height again. Even when i’m doing activities and i saw a kid much younger than me… i saw he’s slightly taller than me.. i feel down already.

    I don’t know if this is curable, as maybe i’ll have to live my life forever thinking about this as it’s unchangeable (maybe i can’t face reality). I’m still able to go on in life, it’s just that “maybe” i’d prefer if i can take this “height problem” off my mind. It’s not that i wanna keep babbling about this… just that “height issue” stuck in my head.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by  Felix.
    #350628

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Do you have any solutions in healing this “obsession”?

     

    #342258

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear valora

    I have read your advices and i understand that its not my fault if she is not interested because that’s they way love works. But still till now i haven’t met someone new because i’ve been doing the same activity and hanging out with the same group of friends… I can’t even find a girl that i’m interested to chase, i feel worried right now that my thoughts are that i wont be in a relationship forever. I even have the crazy thoughts that maybe the only way to have a girl is to find someone i’m not interested in. Idk why but since im in middle school i’ve been longing to have someone who will like me because previous years when im still at school, there isnt a girl who have a crush on me. I’ve been waiting but still it came to this situation.
    You can read my previous threads to see how is my love progress throughout time. I’m ending uni soon and will work with my family… and i wont meet someone new… i’m so worried i’ll stay single forever. Can u give me some tips to stop this obsessive thinking?

    #339450

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Tari thank you for replying,

    I’m not looking a girl only because i find her physically attractive, i’m very selective in finding a girl i wanna chase and that’s one of the reasons why im tired if i have to switch and change into another girl that i wanna chase. Before i chase, i’d have to find out about her family background and also a bit of personality. Usually girls that i chase are mostly innocent girls who never go out till midnight, and are usually close to their parents. But this is also causing me into having a hard time in getting close to them by meeting in real life, that’s why i try to use instagram to chase her but it didnt work as she didnt replied. So my dream girl is that she’s physically attractive (cute) and doesnt need to be really pretty like having lots of make up, and she’s a conservative girl and close to her parents and didnt go hanging out with weird boys. Basically like u call a “good girl”. But even these “good girl” also rejected me… I’m so frustrated haha

    And also i dont want a girl who only wants money, but its just that most people said that as long as u have money u’ll have it easier in finding girls. In which i’m financially good, still i cant find it easy in getting one.

    Well for introverted friends, yes i shouldnt hold them accountable… but it’s just that to find new people i’ll have to rely a bit on them too right… to find a new girl for me to chase. Because to find the right person i’ll need to move around people right.

    I feel that i’m matured enough to be in a relationship, and i have love myself since few months ago. But right now i’m still trying to be patient waiting for god to give me a pathway to find the right one for me.

    #338308

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Yes im asking the same question to see if most people answer the same question then its likely to be that answer. Because i wanna know what’s other people perspective on how will she feel when meeting me later on for the first time?

    #338304

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear valora

    Yes i can relate to your advices as i realize i do a mistake by trying to get close to her by texting, in which there is a friend of me who can help me get to know her as he know im interested in her. I should have waited for him to help me get to know her, but i’m impatient and text her first and this is what happen. Do u think i still have a chance with her? (I’m not good looking so maybe this is also a cons when meeting her for the first time later on, even though that she has saw my face in my ig)

    Do u think she’ll be disgusted/turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?

    #338300

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Do u think she’ll be disgusted/turn off when we meet for the first time later on? Or do u think she’ll feel like nothing happen?

    When i meet her later on i’ll not chase her directly again as its a mistake, i’ll try to be friends with her first.

    But eventually if we wanna text each other later on, she’ll saw the old message that she didnt reply? Would it be awkward?

    Do u think if i wanna be with her i’ll have no choice but to meet up with her through my friend so that i have a chance? Do u think its worth it meeting her after she didnt reply my texts?

    #338226

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear peter

    Regarding the first girl, she knew how i look from instagram but havent met me in person. And i have texted her and she didnt reply. Maybe she reject me because i try to chase her and she havent even met me in real life. I regret chasing her before meeting her in real life first, because in real life meet up i still have a chance as one of my friend know her and maybe we could meet up

    If for example on of my friends meet me up with her friends, and i’ll eventually meet her, do u think i still have a chance to chase her? Or there isnt any chance anymore for me to be with her?

    #338224

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Regarding the first girl, she knew how i look from instagram but havent met me in person. And i have texted her and she didnt reply. Maybe she reject me because i try to chase her and she havent even met me in real life. I regret chasing her before meeting her in real life first, because in real life meet up i still have a chance as one of my friend know her and maybe we could meet up

    If for example on of my friends meet me up with her friends, and i’ll eventually meet her, do u think i still have a chance to chase her? Or there isnt any chance anymore for me to be with her?

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Felix.
    #337992

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    Both girls have previously liked my pic (a pic of myself) on instagram. And i usually share insta stories pic of me and my friends. So they know how i look.

    • This reply was modified 4 months, 2 weeks ago by  Felix.
    #335136

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear Inky

    Thank you for your reply. Your words have made me relax a bit regarding this situation, and i understand when you say people dont care about my parents siblings. What im really confused on is that will a girl concern about my parents siblings relationship if she is considering me as a partner. Because i bet most girls would want to have a comfy and warm family, especially when gathering among relatives. I also thought that in the future if my grandparents (my dad’s parents) is gone, there wont be any big gathering except me, my siblings and my parents only. Will a girl accept this? Or is what actually matters is only my parents and i dont need to worry about the other family members. I’m sorry if my request sounds weird haha.

    #335006

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Thank you for your reply and understanding this thread along with the previous ones. You showed me a positive message and it makes sense to me and i’ll take that advice.

    As for my family members problem that i mentioned above, do u think a girl will accept that kind of situation? I’m asking this not because of i’m judging myself low, it’s just that i’m curious whether a girl might think twice in accepting someone if she finds it in this situation. I’d like ur opinion on this, thank you

     

     

    #333435

    Felix
    Participant

    Dear anita

    I have dress well since like a year ago, i believe im already very fashionable, but my fashionable clothes will always look short no matter. U can just imagine a 5’5

    And as for teeth, my canine teeth is far back on the left side. So basically when i laugh people will thought that one of my teeth is missing, like there is a gap between 2 teeth. I ever ask my parents for braces but they said that i dont have to, as it’s only a minor problem and unnecessary and they are also still afraid that it’ll affect my eating (you know my eating trauma), they are afraid i wont be able to chew. My parents is very sensitive towards my eating, they are afraid i wont be able to eat.

    As 5’5 i weight 64 kg, i guess its already ideal for me and nothing much i can do to improve this short structure. Very difficult right?

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 33 total)